Starting Over
by canadianchicky
Summary: AU - The Telling hasn't happend- What happens when Vaughn leaves PLEASE read and Review- Last chapter up
1. Default Chapter

This story is a Vaughn/Sydney/Weiss. This is my first fic so I am a little nervous about posting. Francie is dead and gone and Slone and Irena and Sark are in Federal custody. This is more of a love story than anything else.  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own any of this in real life. In my dreams maybe but that's it.  
  
Rating- PG 13- nothing bad just a few bad words and some sexual content  
  
Prologue  
  
She always thought of him in the spring. It was when he had left. There had been a fight. A huge one. She had disobeyed him for the last time. She shuddered thinking about that fight. "You never listen to what I say. I plan the Missions. ME. NOT YOU. ME." He had yelled. For the first time ever since they had met he had yelled. "I don't need you to plan these missions so you might as well leave," she had yelled back.  
  
Their relationship was over before it began. He left. He didn't tell her where. He just sent her flower saying that he was re-assigned. No matter how hard she looked and asked she couldn't find out where. It was like he had disappeared. She locked herself away for a week and refused everything.  
  
It took all week but then she made a decision. She was going to show that fucking idiot what he was missing. She was going to live her life to the fullest. Make him wish that he had never left. But after a while she began to live her life for her baby, not her lover.  
  
Eric Weiss was almost as devastated as she was. He didn't know why Vaughn had left and Sydney wouldn't tell him. Someday he would look at her and want to cry. But, she was the only link to Michael. The only link to his best friend that had disappeared off the face of the earth 3 years ago. He was determined to live for her. To help her through this. It was the only way he knew to keep going.  
  
It took him 3 months to get her to confide in him that she was pregnant. 3 long months of not taking, not knowing each other. Then the truth came out. Harsh and long. Fears where revealed and both felt better and closer.  
  
Sydney's pregnancy had been a hard and painful one. Eric had moved in with her and Will so that he could help. He was still living with them even though the twins where 16 months old. Ryan Michelle and Taylor Wilma. She wanted the middle names first but every time she said either name she ended up crying so had reversed it. She had used Eric's last name. As far as anyone knew he was the father. Only four people knew different- Jack, Will, Eric, and Sydney 


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One  
  
Eric and Sydney where sitting at a baseball game. Sydney had turned into a baseball freak when Michael left.  
  
"Syd, why did I come with you?" Eric asked.  
  
"Because I needed to get out and your the one who bought me the tickets."  
  
"Never again," he promised.  
  
"Think about it Eric would you like to be here or home with two babies who never sleep?" Sydney questioned.  
  
"Here I guess but remember to be nice since you usually get more sleep than I do." He leaned over and gave her a kiss. She looked up into his eyes for a moment and then pulled him in for more. What had started as a night of pity sex had turned into a three- month relationship. Although Syd was holding back and was scared that she would loose Eric too, she enjoyed the relationship and hoped that it didn't turn into a really big mistake.  
  
"So how long till we get leave?" Eric asked after they finished kissing.  
  
"Not till the game is over. You should know that. We can still talk though. I can watch and talk at the same time." Sydney replied looking him in the eye.  
  
"Kendall wants you to come in tomorrow. I don't know why so don't ask me," he said quickly to the look she gave him.  
  
"Fine. I new I should have quite but for some reason I couldn't."  
  
"Seeing as you now only have to come in to take to Irina or Sark and still make more money then me it makes sense to me," Eric shot back. "Besides he said he had some news for you that he wanted to give you in person. He wont even tell me so don't ask. I had to beg in order to be let into the meeting to find out with you."  
  
The Next Day  
  
Sydney waked into Kendall's office in the morning hardly awake. Eric beside her had had 3 cups of coffee still looked like her was about to fall asleep.  
  
"Bad night?" Kendall asked.  
  
"Twins with colds," Sydney replied sleepily. "I left them with Will but need to go home soon so can we please start?"  
  
"Sure," Kendall said. For one he was being nice. "As you may or may not know, Agent Michael Vaughn has been on assignment for the past 2 year. The assignment officially ended today and he will be coming back tomorrow. You two will be in charge of debriefing him. He needs to be picked up at the airport at 12:30 pm tomorrow. You will find everything you need to know on your desks. You two can BOTH go home now seeing as you would probably fall asleep on your desk if you stayed here." With that he turned and walked away leaving Sydney and Eric looking at each other.  
  
"Oh my gosh," Eric breathed once he had read the pack that Kendall had left on his desk. "This is the first time in my life that I have been speechless. He is going to flip."  
  
"What do we do?" Sydney asked.  
  
"You get him for the airport and pretend like nothing happened. Maybe he will still be mad and won't remember."  
  
"Okay we can try that and if it doesn't work then what?"  
  
"We figure it out then. Right now we go home and help Will or he may not survive though."  
  
"Oh my gosh I forgot about will and the twins," Sydney panicked and rushed to get the keys to leave  
  
TBC  
  
If you want more please please respond. The next chapter is about Syd and Vaughn reuniting. 


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
She was half an hour later. By the time she got there Vaughn had his bags and was about to get a taxi. Sydney pulled to the side of the road beside him and he put his bags in the back then got in the front.  
  
"I thought you weren't coming. That you had chickened out," he said.  
  
"No, I just got tied up."  
  
"You still go on missions every other day?"  
  
"No. The last mission I went one was the one before you left."  
  
"Really? I thought for sure that you went on as many as you could," he sounded mean, she thought, like he wants a fight.  
  
"Thing changed Michael."  
  
"Michael? What happened to you calling me Vaughn?"  
  
"Like I said things changed."  
  
"Who's SUV are you driving?"  
  
"Mine, why?"  
  
"There are child seats in the back. Who did you marry?"  
  
"Not now please. Where are you staying?"  
  
"I don't know call Kendall."  
  
"Fine."  
  
She got out her cell and called Kendall. "Sir, where is Agent Vaughn staying? What? Are you sure? Bye." She hung up the phone and looked at the man sitting next to her. "You are staying with me."  
  
"Sydney what's wrong?" Michael asked. He was being to get worried. Something was up and he wanted to know.  
  
She drove until she got to the beach and then pulled over and parked "Get out and come with me" she stated flatly, then got out and walked toward the water.  
  
Sydney's POV  
  
I could see the love in his eyes as he watched me walk away. He looked confused. I knew I had to tell him. I quickly pulled my cell out again and called Eric. Close to tears I told him what was happening and asked him how the girls where. When he said they where feeling better I suggested that he bring them to the beach. He immediately got my message and said they would be there in 15 minutes.  
  
By the time I hung up Michael was beside me. I quietly sat and then watched him sit beside me. I loved him. No I don't, I Love Eric. I told him that the night before. He told me the same thing.  
  
I looked up and saw Michael watching me. I love the green of his eyes. Both the girls had the same eyes. Suddenly they came closer. His lips where on hers. Oh how she loved his lips.  
  
Michael Vaughn's POV  
  
I watched her walk over and pull out her phone. She sat down so I sat beside her.  
  
What a fool I am. I left this woman. The woman who I love more than life. I left her for two years of paperwork. I left her after one stupid fight. I never should have left. I was so stupid.  
  
She looked up so I looked her in the eyes. Suddenly I remembered our night of passion. One night. All I wanted was another night. I felt myself lean in. suddenly my lips where on hers. I felt so good. So right.  
  
A car pulled into the parking lot and Sydney pulled away. I looked up to see Eric stepping out of the car. He walked over to us. I saw Sydney nod, that's who she called.  
  
"Where are they?" Sydney asked him.  
  
"In the car, they're sleeping." Eric responded.  
  
"Who are you taking about?" I asked.  
  
Sydney looked down. "I have lots to tell you Vaughn. Please just let me say it" 


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
Michael Vaughn's POV  
  
Sydney looked down. "I have lots to tell you Vaughn. Please just let me say it. I need you to listen and not say anything. If you interrupt I don't know if I will be able to go one." She looked him in the eye's to be sure that he understood the looked down again. Eric took Syd's hand in his.  
  
'Oh my Gosh' I thought. 'My best friend stole my girlfriend.' He was ready to kill Eric on the spot but then Sydney started to talk again.  
  
"When you left it was so hard to go on. It took me weeks before I left my home. I thought it was me. That I had pushed you too far. That that was the reason you had left. I went to my dad and he said that he couldn't tell me where you where. No one could. So I went to Eric. He helped me. He stayed with me. Even he didn't know where you where. It was like you had vanished. Then I found out some news. This was life altering news. Michael," she looked me in the eye, "I found out that I was pregnant. I new the child was yours. You where the only one I had been with. I tried everything to find out where you where. I tried to black mail my father, threaten Kendall and Devlin. No one would tell me. Will moved in with me. To help me. He didn't think that I should be alone. He was right although I will never tell him that. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. After the twins where born Eric moved in to help with them. It was so hard. I missed you so much." She had tears in her eyes and wouldn't look at Eric or me. I look at Eric and found that even he didn't know the whole story.  
  
"Their names and Ryan Michelle and Taylor Wilma. They are in Eric's car if you want to see them," she pauses as if she wasn't sure what else to say. "Say something." She yelled at me.  
  
"What am I suppose to say," I yelled back. Then suddenly I realized I was yelling and dropped my voice to a whisper. "You told me not to talk."  
  
Sydney looked up towards Eric's car. "They're awake." Eric nodded.  
  
Sydney passed me the keys to her SUV. "Eric and I will take them home. If and when you ever want to see me or him again you can come by. Please don't crash," she looked me in the eye before getting up and following Eric to the car. They pulled out and started to drive away.  
  
I got up and started walking down the shore. My head pounding with new information. The woman I loved was sleeping with my best friend. I know she didn't say it aloud but I wasn't a spy for nothing. Wait a second she didn't say they had slept together maybe they where just dating. But then they where living together.  
  
Suddenly I remembered what else she had said. That I was a father. Twins, the word echoed around in my brain. Two children that I didn't know had existed until now. I thought about their names, Ryan and Taylor. I didn't even know if they where boys or girls, or why she chose those names. Or how old they where.  
  
I pulled out my phone. Even after all these years I still new her number. The phone rang twice before she answered.  
  
"I have questions"  
  
"I have the answers."  
  
"Meet me somewhere"  
  
"CIA headquarters, 20 minutes" she stated before hanging up.  
  
CIA headquarters, 20 minutes later  
  
She was waiting in her office for me. On her desk was a picture of Eric, her and two gorgeous little girls.  
  
"They're girls?"  
  
"Yes." She walked over to me. "I have to tell you that I did miss you."  
  
"I was only supposed to be gone for a week at the max. I never thought I would have to leave you for 2 years."  
  
"I now know that. I thought it was my fault"  
  
"I would never had left you." She walked beside me and closed the door to her office.  
  
"do people know they are mine?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Whose do they think they are?"  
  
"Eric's. They have his last name." She walked up to me and kissed me. "No one will come in; they all think that I am at home." 


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
Eric Weiss POV  
  
I went to sleep alone last night. Sydney had gone out and still wasn't home. Somehow I managed to distract the twins long enough to get them to go to sleep. I lay in bed till 2 am wonder. Wondering whether I was going to loose. I know it not a game and Sydney's not a prize but I couldn't help it. I want her. I want her so bad. I can't remember wanting anything like this.  
  
I was up by 5 and made the bed wishing that she was there helping me. All I wanted was to convince her that I was one for her. Me. Not Michael. Not my best friend. I feel so guilty. Why did I have to do that? Why did I fall in love?  
  
She came in at nine. I was up with the girls and Will was at work. She looked guilty. She glanced at me and then glanced down walking past me and up to our room. I let her go scared out of wits of what she would tell me if I did follow her.  
  
I picked up the phone and called Mike.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"I need to talk to you."  
  
"Who is this?"  
  
"Bond, James Bond."  
  
"No, seriously."  
  
"It's Eric."  
  
"Fine, where?"  
  
"At the gym, give me an hour."  
  
"Fine."  
  
I hung up and went up to see Syd. She was sitting on the bed crying.  
  
"What's wrong?" I asked already knowing the answer.  
  
"I have to choose. And I don't know who I should pick." She sobbed.  
  
I rubbed her back. "I'm going to go out for a while. Can you watch the girl's?"  
  
"Ya. When will you be back?"  
  
"Later today." He left. He got to the gym with a half hour to wait. Michael walked in 15 minutes later when he was using the punching bag.  
  
"How can I help you?"  
  
"What Mike? No how are you doing? Missed you, sorry for leaving and not telling you where?"  
  
"Get over it Eric."  
  
"You left. For two years you were gone."  
  
"Well we may have been apart for two years but we got re-acquainted last night."  
  
"What?"  
  
"She didn't tell you?"  
  
"You slept with her. Mike why?"  
  
"Maybe because she is the mother of my kids."  
  
"You can be the biological father but they call me dad." I yelled. I was ready to jump on him.  
  
"You made a mistake getting close to her."  
  
"It was the best mistake of my life."  
  
He jumped on my and all I could think about was making sure that that man never had any kid again in his life. After a few minuets of rolling around on the floor I felt some one grab my ear and hear Sydney.  
  
"Stop it. Please just stop it now." I could hear the tears in her voice. "I am begging you to stop."  
  
Mike and I stood up in front of her. The tears where rolling down her cheeks.  
  
"I will not be the cause of you two not being friends. I refuse to be. If I have to I will leave."  
  
"Sydney," mike started walking towards her.  
  
She takes a step back. "No. Last night was a mistake. I should have waited. I played both of you. It won't happen again. I promise that to both of you."  
  
"Syd-"  
  
"Don't Eric. I need to say this. I love you both. I can't imagine my life without either of you. I know you still want me. I know you both do. I also know that I only get one. I have to pick one. It hurts me so I know it also hurts you. I am taking the girls to a baseball game with me. And Eric, if this is a mistake then it is also my favorite one."  
  
She turned and walk away. 


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
She knew she had to pick. She just didn't know how. Both men loved her. She didn't know who that had happened. She loved both. All she had to do was pick the one she loved the most. But that wasn't the hardest part. The hard part was telling the one she didn't pick.  
  
Michael Vaughn. The father of her children. She loved him. She knew that. But he had left. He left her pregnant and now her wanted everything bad. Could she do that? Could she forget that and pretend that it didn't happen?  
  
Eric Weiss. The man her kids called dad. The man who had stood beside her. Helped her through her pain. Was it possible that she only loved him because he reminded her of Michael.  
  
It didn't matter what she wanted, whether she preferred Eric or Michael. All that mattered was that she chooses the one that would benefit her girls the most. Nothing mattered if the girls didn't like the man she chooses.  
  
But what if she didn't like the man she chooses. Would she always be thinking about what might have happened if she chooses the other man? This was not how she thought life would work out. First it was Mike and her and a big family. Then, when he disappeared it had been Eric and her and a big family.  
  
'Goals change;' she thought suddenly the game that was going on in front of her forgotten for a minute, 'and People change, times change. Had she changed? Yes, being a mother changes even the most stubborn. Had Michael changed as much as she had? Being a father changes thing too. Only Eric had become a father, not Michael. Would he still want her even though she changed or did he just want her body? "No he wasn't shallow." She said aloud. Both the girls looked at her. "We have to leave I know what I need to do."  
  
She pulled up to her house and parked the car. Quietly she lifted the two sleeping girls and walked to the door. Will opened it for her.  
  
"Are they here?"  
  
"Yes. They haven't argued all day. Just seemed to talk about the past years."  
  
"Good, take Ryan will ya?"  
  
"Sure," he lifted the sleeping child and walked with Sydney to drop them in their room. Sydney then walked to the living room where Mike and Eric where watching hockey. Mike looked up and said "I'll leave. I'm living in an apartment. Eric knows where it is." Then he walked out the door. She sat beside Eric and made him look at her.  
  
"I have decided" 


	7. Chapter 6 The Last Chapter

Chapter 6  
  
"I have decided"  
  
Eric sat up and looked at me. "You shouldn't have to decide. I never should have started dating you. I loved you. I still love you. I will always be there for you but.." He looked away. "Mike was there first. You should pick him."  
  
"Eric, you of all people disserves this the most. I know that. Don't question that." He looked at me with disbelief in his eyes.  
  
"I have to go and talk to Michael. Can I have his address?"  
  
"Yes." Eric passed me a card with his address.  
  
"Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Do you love you?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"If I picked you would you marry me?"  
  
"Yes, in a heart beat." I left to go to Michael's house. "Will you come?" "Why?"  
  
"Because I don't want to say it twice."  
  
"Ya"  
  
15 minutes later  
  
I knocked on Michael's door and he instantly answered.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hi. Can we come in?"  
  
"Yes." He led us to the couch, we sit down facing each other. Michael takes to me first.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For leaving. For making you choose. For getting you pregnant."  
  
"Never be sorry for getting me pregnant. I love those girls. I always will. I just wish you did too."  
  
"I do love then"  
  
"You haven't met them. You only love then because you made them," I practically yield. I could feel the tears and there was no way I was going cry in front of him. Calming down I continued, "I need to leave."  
  
"Go."  
  
"Not this house but this city. I am moving. I wont tell you where. I will tell you this." I took a deep breath. "I want you to know the girls. I wont have them growing up without a dad. I leave you and Eric this choice, the girls can stay and you can raise them, or I can take them. I need to go pee." Knowing they need to talk I leave the room and go to the washroom. I listened to what they said knowing I would have to make the choice.  
  
"Wow" Eric said.  
  
"Ya. She offered to leave her kids here while she left."  
  
"She must hate us."  
  
"Or really not want to pick."  
  
"What do we do?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"I love those girls. But as much as I want to I know we can't keep them."  
  
"Ya."  
  
I walk back out and they looked up. "My plane leaves in an hour. I have already packed. Will know and will take care of the girls until you two come home. I trust you two to care for them and raise them. Tell them I'm sorry." I turn and walk out knowing I might not see them again.  
  
The end  
  
I hope you liked it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you for reviewing. I have a start on a sequel but I don't know if I am going to post it. 


End file.
